{"id":1229,"date":"2019-12-21T07:57:32","date_gmt":"2019-12-21T11:57:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.unirea.org\/?p=1229"},"modified":"2019-12-26T15:33:25","modified_gmt":"2019-12-26T19:33:25","slug":"the-languages-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unirea.org\/ro\/2019\/12\/21\/the-languages-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Limbajele iubirii"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
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Diacon Remus Orian<\/figcaption>\r\n<\/figure>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Exist\u0103 oare c\u0103snicia perfect\u0103? Da sau nu? R\u0103spunsul probabil este diferit pentru fiecare dintre noi. To\u021bi tr\u0103im cu dorin\u021ba ad\u00e2nc tip\u0103rit\u0103 \u00een psihologia noastr\u0103 de a avea un mariaj perfect, bazat exclusiv pe iubire. Setea de a acumula c\u00e2t mai multe informa\u021bii pe aceasta tem\u0103 \u0219i de a ne p\u0103stra iubirea vie \u00een c\u0103snicie ne face s\u0103 urm\u0103m uneori chiar \u0219i cele mai neatestate sfaturi \u0219i p\u0103reri venite din anumite reviste de succes sau talk-show-uri. \u0218i cu toate c\u0103 avem parte de at\u00e2t de mult\u0103 informa\u021bie tot nu reu\u0219im s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem care sunt mijloacele potrivite pentru a avea o c\u0103snicie perfect\u0103. Exista un limbaj al iubirii? Ei bine da, exist\u0103! R\u0103spunsul l-am definitivat dup\u0103 ce \u00een urma cu c\u00e2teva zile am r\u0103sfoit un frumos tratat pe aceast\u0103 tema a cunoscutului autor Gary Chapman \u0219i anume Cele cinci limbaje ale iubirii.<\/p>\r\n

Asemenea bagajului lingvistic care faciliteaz\u0103 buna comunicare, tot a\u0219a putem vorbi \u0219i despre nevoia de a folosi un limbaj \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd vine vorba despre iubire \u0219i c\u0103s\u0103torie.<\/p>\r\n

Dac\u0103 dorim s\u0103 dep\u0103\u0219im grani\u021bele culturale \u0219i s\u0103 comunic\u0103m eficient, atunci trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m limba celor cu care dorim s\u0103 interac\u021bion\u0103m. La fel este \u0219i \u00een iubire. Chiar \u0219i iubirea se folose\u0219te de propriile sale limbaje pentru a se face \u00een\u021beleas\u0103 sau, mai bine zis, sim\u021bit\u0103 partenerului.<\/p>\r\n

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Primul limbaj al iubirii: Declara\u021biile<\/h2>\r\n

Punct\u00e2nd acest prim limbaj al iubirii \u0219i anume declara\u021biile, men\u021bionez ca nu m\u0103 voi referi doar la ceea ce instinctual presupunem, \u0219i anume declara\u021biile de dragoste, ci voi face referire si la alte \u201cdialecte\u201d ale acestui limbaj precum \u00eencuraj\u0103rile<\/strong> sau vorbele rostite pe un ton frumos.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

A face o declara\u021bie de dragoste ori a aduce un compliment gratuit partenerului face ca \u00een acesta s\u0103 se nasc\u0103 un sentiment motiva\u021bional de implicare \u00een rela\u021bie mult mai puternic dec\u00e2t orice alt\u0103 vorb\u0103.\u00a0 Aten\u021bie \u00eens\u0103 a nu c\u0103dea \u00een extrem \u0219i anume \u00een lingu\u0219ire pentru a-l determina s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceea ce-ti dore\u0219ti. Scopul final al iubirii nu este acela de a ob\u021bine prin aceste mijloace orice de la cel\u0103lalt , ci de a face ceva spre binele celui iubit. Si oare nu este adev\u0103rat c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd ni se fac complimente suntem mult mai predispu\u0219i sa reac\u021bion\u0103m pozitiv?<\/p>\r\n

Un alt dialect al acestui limbaj sunt \u00eencuraj\u0103rile<\/strong>. Oare care dintre noi nu are nevoie de o \u00eencurajare? Aceea\u0219i situa\u021bie o \u00eent\u00e2lnim \u0219i \u00een cadrul c\u0103s\u0103toriei. Este foarte important ca fiecare dintre parteneri s\u0103 nu uite s\u0103 se \u00eencurajeze reciproc. Este foarte posibil ca unul dintre so\u021bi s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i doreasc\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 ceva sau are un talent care nu a fost \u00eenc\u0103 pus \u00een valoare. Poate c\u0103 acest poten\u021bial a\u0219teapt\u0103 s\u0103 se \u00eenal\u021be prin \u00eencuraj\u0103rile tale.<\/p>\r\n

O mare gre\u0219eal\u0103 poate ap\u0103rea la \u00eencurajarea \u00een a face ceea ce partenerul nu \u00ee\u0219i dore\u0219te \u0219i asta pentru c\u0103 totul va sf\u00e2r\u0219i prin a fi doar o prelegere cu tent\u0103 moralizatoare, care nu face nimic altceva dec\u00e2t s\u0103 nasc\u0103 \u00een partener sentimentul de vinov\u0103\u021bie \u0219i respingere.<\/p>\r\n

Pentru ca \u00eencurajarea s\u0103 fie una sincer\u0103 \u0219i c\u00e2t mai bine recep\u021bionat\u0103 de c\u0103tre partener este necesar s\u0103 empatizezi cu el, s\u0103 vezi lucrurile din perspectiva lui. Con\u0219tientiz\u00e2nd care sunt lucrurile care conteaz\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat pentru partener si comunic\u00e2nd-i prin mesaje precum: \u201e\u0219tiu, te \u00een\u021beleg, sunt al\u0103turi de tine\u201d, faci ca acesta s\u0103 fie mult mai atent, iubitor si \u00eencrez\u0103tor \u00een c\u0103snicia voastr\u0103.<\/p>\r\n

Trec\u00e2nd la acest al treilea \u201cdialect\u201d al declara\u021biilor \u0219i anume la vorbele rostite pe un ton frumos, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la tot ceea ce transmite acest lucru mai simplu \u0219i clar: felul \u00een care vorbim. Este foarte indicat s\u0103 evit\u0103m folosirea vorbelor cu dublu sens \u0219i s\u0103 fim foarte aten\u021bi la tonul folosit. O simpl\u0103 afirma\u021bie precum: Sunt dezam\u0103git\u0103 c\u0103 nu te-ai oferit s\u0103 m\u0103 aju\u021bi \u00een aceast\u0103 sear\u0103 s\u0103 str\u00e2ng masa dup\u0103 plecarea oaspe\u021bilor<\/em>, rostit\u0103 pe un ton dur nu va fi niciodat\u0103 perceput\u0103 ca o expresie a iubirii. Aceea\u0219i fraz\u0103 rostit\u0103 pe un ton calm \u0219i bl\u00e2nd face ca acesta s\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219easc\u0103 celuilalt ceea ce simte \u0219i va aduce \u00een discu\u021bie o problem\u0103 la care sper\u0103 sa g\u0103seasc\u0103 am\u00e2ndoi o solu\u021bie. Exprimarea clar\u0103, cu calm, \u00een\u021belegere \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 impunerea punctului de vedere, face ca partenerul s\u0103 fie mult mai deschis s\u0103 accepte cu iubire orice observa\u021bie chiar \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd gre\u0219e\u0219te.<\/p>\r\n

Ceea ce nu trebuie f\u0103cut \u00een acest caz este s\u0103 \u021binem eviden\u021ba gre\u0219elilor celuilalt. Nimeni nu este perfect, a\u0219a cum nimeni nu a fost \u00eens\u0103rcinat la primirea tainei c\u0103s\u0103toriei cu contabilizarea gre\u0219elilor celuilalt. Da, putem face lucruri care s\u0103 ne lezeze partenerul, dar important este s\u0103 ne cerem iertare \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencercam pe viitor s\u0103 ac\u021bion\u0103m altfel. Odat\u0103 ce una dintre p\u0103r\u021bi \u00ee\u0219i cere iertare, cealalt\u0103 parte are dou\u0103 posibilit\u0103\u021bi: s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i fac\u0103 dreptate sau s\u0103 ierte. Dac\u0103 alegem s\u0103 judec\u0103m, atunci apropierea dintre parteneri este imposibil\u0103. Iertarea \u00eens\u0103 este cea care apropie \u0219i da, putem spune c\u0103 iertarea este un fel de a iubi.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Exist\u0103 oare c\u0103snicia perfect\u0103? Da sau nu? R\u0103spunsul probabil este diferit pentru fiecare dintre noi. To\u021bi tr\u0103im cu dorin\u021ba ad\u00e2nc tip\u0103rit\u0103 \u00een psihologia noastr\u0103 de a avea un mariaj perfect, <\/span>Continue Reading<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1232,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[41,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage-matters","category-casatorie-romana"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"3.0.2","language":"ro","enabled_languages":["en","ro"],"languages":{"en":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"ro":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false}}},"yoast_head":"\nLimbajele iubirii - 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